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Getting Others To Do What You Want

Not too long ago, I wrote about how to be more persuasive.

If you missed that one, it boiled down to this…

“When you like yourself and treat yourself with respect, others will like you and respect you.”

More importantly, though, the *right* people will like and respect you.

Not everybody, of course.

Just the people that matter.

Many of my readers felt the truth in that, and immediately put it to use in their own lives.

A few people got mad, though.

These very few people were angry with me because they assumed I must be holding back some jealously guarded mind-control secrets, and insisted that I should share those instead.


That’s fine with me.

They can get mad and unsubscribe and never buy anything from me.

The way I see it, I won’t benefit from trying to convince them of anything.

And I don’t think they’d get much from me trying to convince them, either.

What do you think? Maybe I’m wrong, but…

I don’t see any clear benefit to being able to convince people of anything. I could get pushy or try to use fear and intimidation, and maybe… just maybe get a few extra people to say they agree with me just to shut me up, or…

I can just say what I think, explain why I think it, and let people decide for themselves.

Is that crazy? I don’t know about you, but I find my life to be a lot more enjoyable when I focus on helping people who want my particular brand of advice, rather than chasing people who don’t.

How about you? Would your life improve a great deal if you could force other people to agree with you?

Or, if you were a puppet master pulling everybody’s strings and making them dance, would that increase your enjoyment of life?

I don’t need an answer. It’s just something to think about. Those are some questions I used to ask myself whenever I got so frustrated with life that I’d find myself slipping into childish power fantasies.

My answer was always “no.”

Not only that, when I followed those ridiculous mental fantasies through to the end, it usually led me to realize that my real frustration came from the fact that I had such a hard time persuading *myself* to do anything… let alone anybody else.

And the path of self-discovery that came from learning how to motivate myself – to really understand my deeper, subconscious motivations and, how to get them aligned with my conscious desires – well, that was far more fulfilling and rewarding than being granted some creepy power to control others.

Of course, when you learn what really drives you… when you learn how to motivate and persuade yourself… you’ll get better at inspiring others.

How much more useful would that be?

And yeah…

The people who got mad at me are right.

I am holding back some secrets.

There are lots of nasty little tricks you can use to get people to do what you want.

Many of which are used in the mainstream media every single day.

But why should I teach them to someone who can’t control themselves?

The world is pretty chaotic right now because there are a few people who know how to control others, and a *whole lot* of people who don’t know how to control themselves.

And so, the way I see it, my purpose is to help people learn to control themselves.

How about you?

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The Most Powerful Persuasion Secret I’ve Ever Learned

People occasionally email me asking me to teach them some trick to be more persuasive.

They want to learn some NLP language pattern, or hypnosis tactic, to get people to do what they want…

Whether they’re trying to get a date, make new friends, be a better sales person, or whatever it is they feel they need to ‘trick’ people into doing…

There’s always this assumption that persuasion and influence involves trickery.

Well, it’s not a trick.

It’s not some villainous “dark side” mind control secret.

It’s simply this…

Like yourself.

Really, truly, like yourself and enjoy your own company.

I know, it doesn’t sound mysterious or magical.

But it’s the only real and lasting way to ethically influence other people.

When you really get to know yourself, and accept yourself, and like yourself for who you are…

Others will like you, too.

And no, I don’t mean love yourself in a childish, narcissistic sense of “I’m so great, everybody says so.”

I mean treat yourself with respect and understanding:

  • Hold yourself to reasonable standards of discipline, without beating yourself up when you make mistakes.
  • Get to know what you really enjoy doing in life, and allow yourself to pursue those things.
  • Exercise and eat well because you want yourself to be healthy and energetic.
  • Read and write because you want yourself to be knowledgeable and able to communicate clearly.
  • Allow yourself to get plenty of rest and recreation because, after all, you wouldn’t push someone you like to burn themselves out.

When you really start to like yourself and treat yourself with respect, your entire ‘vibe’ changes.

You treat others differently, and they can’t help but like you and, naturally, they will listen to you and you will have more influence because you are respectable and trustworthy.

When you become a friend and trusted advisor to yourself first, others will naturally trust you and seek your advice.

How you connect with yourself is how you connect with others.

If you feel lonely in your own company, others will feel lonely around you.


If you feel genuine warmth and openness with yourself, others will feel that as well.